One of the most common things I hear among moms it is that they aren’t good enough or that their “mom skills” are lacking. Yet most of those moms are doing a great job and their kids are thriving. Think about your experience as a mom…have you ever felt inadequate, discouraged, or just plain exhausted? Those feelings are normal! There are definitely challenges being a mother, but I’m here to tell you that it is okay to not be perfect!!!
2020 has left a lot of us feeling uncertain. Our environments have been altered with kids and/or spouses working from home. I know I felt like my whole world had shifted and because there was so much going on inside my home-it through off all of my routines! I had to figure out my place amidst the new chaos! It actually forced me to focus on the most important things…my family and my relationship with God.
There are some things that have really helped me during these challenging times to do my best and be okay with just my best! It is amazing how the Lord fills in the rest! Some days I can do a lot, while other days just getting out of bed is an accomplishment! Here are a few things you can try when things get tough to strengthen your home environment and help you know that you are doing enough!
“There is eternal influence and power in motherhood.”Julie B. Beck
Remember you are doing God’s work.
One of the most important things to remember is that God has given you this opportunity to be a mother, and to shape and influence your family in ways that no one else can. What a blessing we have as mothers! And as God has blessed you with this responsibility, He will also help you through ALL of it. Prayer has been one of the most important strengths for me in my life! Take your difficulties to Him in prayer and He WILL help you know how to be a successful mom! Here is my post on prayer.
“There are few things more powerful than the faithful prayers of a righteous mother.”Boyd K. Packer
Do the best you can and don’t worry about what you can’t do.
God only expects you to do what you are physically, mentally, and emotionally capable of doing. He will fill in any gaps that are left from our own inabilities. I have felt God’s help so many times in my life…He lifts me when I am struggling and gives me strength when I feel like I can’t go on any further. On those challenging days I have felt an added measure of energy, hope, and ability to accomplish the things I didn’t think were even possible before.
Be careful of comparisons. Sometimes we compare others’ strengths with our weaknesses. I think that is when we start to notice what we aren’t doing, when we see what others are doing better than us. Just focus on doing the best you can. Don’t worry about if you measure up to others or aren’t equal to your idea of what motherhood should be. God has called you to be a mother. He has faith in you. Motherhood is His work and He has trusted you…we partner with Him as we raise the next generation.
There isn’t a cookie-cutter way to do every task. Each situation is unique. Every mom has different challenges, different skills and abilities, and different children. It’s important to try things that will work for your family specifically You don’t have to do things exactly like your neighbor or extended family or anyone else. You be you and find out what will work best for your family!
Put away distractions and live in the moment.
Nothing saddens me more than when I see moms giving their phones more love and attention than their children. Get off social media, turn off the TV, put down distractions, the to-do list, or whatever is stopping you from spending quality time together. Spend more time with your family. Play a game, make cookies, read a book, or even clean their room together. Make memories together today. Time will pass and you will not regret that time spent together, but you may regret the time you spent choosing to do other things.
Author Anna Quindlen reminds us not to rush past the fleeting moments. She said: “The biggest mistake I made [as a parent] is the one that most of us make. … I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of [my three children] sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less” (Loud and Clear , 10–11).
“The joy of motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction.”M. Russell Ballard
Learn from the past but don’t dwell there.
I should’ve, could’ve, would’ve…The past is over. Let it go. Learn from your mistakes but don’t let it take over your life. Motherhood is all about trying to be better and learning better ways of doing things. Make adjustments if things didn’t work well. Adjust to better fit the needs of your family. You cannot change things you said or did, but you can start now to do better and be better.
Learn from the past.
Prepare for the future.
Live in the present.Thomas S. Monson
Plan unstructured time.
One thing I have learned through this pandemic is how nice it was to stay home and have unlimited family time without any other distractions. But now I am starting to see the extracurricular activities starting up again causing families to be pulled in many directions. Is your family “too busy” to spend time together? Is every daylight minute planned out? Russell Ballard said, “Families need unstructured time when relationships can deepen and real parenting can take place. Take time to listen, to laugh, and to play together.” I have found that those less planned times are some of our family’s favorites!
Lose yourself in service.
I think service and motherhood are synonyms. Often we don’t realize just how much service moms do in a day: dishes, cleaning house, tying shoes, giving baths, etc. We go about our day helping others doing little things and often underestimate our power for good. If you feel down, service is one of the best ways I know to lift my spirits. Look for ways to help and serve others. Here is my post on service.
Be Positive and Count your Blessings.
Mom’s attitudes affects the environment of the home. There is enough negativity in the world, make your home one of positivity. One of the best ways I have found to do this is to notice God’s hand in my life. It seems that every blessing I notice and point out helps me notice even more blessings. Focus on the good in your life.
The words of James Barrie, the author of Peter Pan: “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves.” It is definitely contagious!
Celebrate any successes in your home. Look for and point out anything good that happens…your kids are getting along, they picked up their toys, or put away the dishes without being asked. As you turn your focus to happy things that are happening, you will start to see more. Here is my post on Positivity.
Go with your Gut.
“As a mother you have been given divine instincts to help you sense your child’s special talents and unique capacities,”Richard G. Scott
I have seen many instances in my life where I followed those “gut feelings” and my family was blessed because of it. No one knows your child better than you do. You have a way to sense their needs and how to help them best. Follow those promptings and you can’t go wrong.
“The most important … work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes”Harold B. Lee
Remember that you are amazing! You can do this!
Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will drag you down. Focus on your God given talents and abilities. If you want to be better at something, start there and work on it. Pick some of these things above to help give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment. You are a great power for good. You will make the world a better place. Lift up your chin; walk tall. God loves you and will help you through this challenging time of motherhood.
“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.”Abraham Lincoln
One day your kids will remember all the little things you did for them!