How do you overcome the need to be perfect? Or is it bad to push for perfection? I have struggled with a desire to be perfect all of my life. I want everything to be just right. I want to say, do, act, even wear the right things. I hate it when I make mistakes or when I say or do really dumb things. Perfection is to be free from any flaws or defects. I find it’s hard to accept the fact that we are all mortal and that we WILL make mistakes in this life.
In my quest for perfection, I’m learning a lot about my abilities and talents, or lack thereof. Like for instance, how many times have I revised this page? A lot! I want it to be perfect, but I am learning to do your best and then accept things for what they-definitely not perfect! As I push myself to be my best self , accept imperfection but learn and grow, that is when I see true greatness.
Here are some things that keep me focused on the important things in life when I start to want perfection…
Avoid Judging. Judging brings unhappiness and negativity into your life. All of us are in different circumstances. If you could really see into a person’s life and experiences, you would treat them so differently! In most cases, we really don’t understand what they have been through. Instead of Judging, love others.
To understand the man you must first walk a mile in his moccasin.My grandma had this saying up on her wall.
Avoid Comparisons. You see the Jones family. They have a bigger house, nicer clothes, a nicer car, better cleaning skills, better manners, kids’ hair is always perfect, clothes are top of the line, they win every sport, have time for the gym, healthy meal prep and exotic family vacations. The Jones family is fictitious. Perfection is unattainable in this life. You will never be happy if you focus on what someone else has that you don’t or compare your weaknesses to their strengths. We all fight a tough battle. Many of those battles are not visible from the outside. Instead of comparing, look for the strengths in others then compliment them, or find ways to lift and strengthen them and share your talents with them.
Avoid a pity party. We all have struggles in life. If you are focused on what you don’t have or how hard your life is, you will be miserable. Deal with things as they happen and then move on. If something is bringing you down, take care of it if you can or else let it go and move on. Instead of having a pity party, count your blessings and reach out to serve someone. I guarantee that someone ALWAYS HAS IT WORSE than you do! Serving others helps me realize that my problems aren’t really that bad and I end up very grateful for my life!
Avoid dwelling on mistakes. I have a tendency to think over and over about things I said or did that may have offended someone-especially at 4:00 in the morning. That really doesn’t help me at all. We can’t live our life full of regret. Instead of dwelling on the mistake, fix it if possible, laugh about it, and move on. Don’t dwell on it especially if you don’t even know how they felt. Having good friends to rely on is especially helpful here. I love my true friends that can tell me when I’m just being silly and to stop worrying.
Avoid expecting perfection in your kids. So often, we want our kids to be everything that we weren’t at their age. I wanted my daughter to be a dancer. After a few years of dance and a full year of gymnastics and she still couldn’t even do a cartwheel, we decided dancing wasn’t for her. She was surely blessed with my dancing skills! It is fun to see her excel in other ways-like academics. My kids surprise me still with their abilities. Be sure to look for interests and skills that appeal to your kids and then help them to improve in those skills. Instead of expecting perfection in your kids, give them opportunities to try new things and practice skills that will help them be successful in all that they do.
Perfect Smart moms say NO sometimes. Our loving Heavenly Father doesn’t give us everything we want. It is okay to say NO, or wait a while, or I’m not sure. Disappointments do help us achieve greatness. Help your child to see that you are helping them to grow. What are you pushing them to do? Is it achievable? Age appropriate? Enough of a challenge? Will you be satisfied with imperfection if they give it their best effort? There is always a balance in parenting. The trick is to find ways to say YES to your kids and push them to do things that are difficult but achievable.
I am slowly learning that I don’t have to be perfect. Those imperfections are what make us unique. The most important things in this life aren’t things! They are families and love and happiness. Remember, there is no other YOU. Just try to be the very best version of you possible. That is where you reach true perfection. Remember, YOU ARE AMAZING!!! Nobody else can do you quite like you can!
Things that inspired me today: